How to not be you!

This caught my eye on MSN this morning, I dutifully clicked the link because, even though I'm not a woman who wants to become a captivating girl all the guys want to date, I am really curious about what they might suggest I do to become this girl. Unfortunately the link takes me to the MSN dating site which you have to join, I don't know if this is just a ploy to get you on there or if they genuinely have an article that advises women on how to magically transform themselves into alluring girls once you're a member and I'm not willing to join so will probably never know. The ad gives away so much though that I'm not too disappointed about missing out on whatever advice they have;

How To Be Captivating - You're not, you need help from an ad/article on a crappy messenger service.

Women - We respect you, we're not patronising you here or anything.

Ways to become the girl all the guys want - Again, you're not 'it' already so here's some advice/rules to follow to make you the non woman all the guys (not men or boys, it's like the mid range male group) apparently want, ignoring that this advice is generally bollocks designed to make women feel inadequate & most men who don't think they actually want that in their partners at all confused.


All in all, success! Feelings of confusion & inadequacy all round, now join our dating site which will spam the fuck out of you if it's not already charging you the earth to be on there in the first place & meet like minded also hiding their personalities behind a bunch of shitty rules/advice people.

Oh come on!

Daily Mail type: ''Phone home! Don't you get it? He's homeless & living in a phone box so let's take the piss out of him! Also he's a foreign so phone home! Like ET that alien thing that didn't belong here either but that's totally not what we were alluding to really we just thought of the first phone related quote regarding homes, something this man doesn't have obviously haha, and threw it in there 'cos we're hilarious like that! We're totally not racist or anything and oo er is that the time best be off to the comments then.....'

Oh dear

This is what happens when too many foreigners come here to this already immensely overcrowded land

This poor man deserves better - preferably back in his own country where he belongs

- roger, brighton, 10/6/2010 13:41

I was about to write, get him deported but he lives in China, So why care he ain't here he ain't our problem.

DM try reporting issues about the UK that matter. Not some loser in China.

- Andrew, Norfolk, 10/6/2010 12:53

Me aged 10...

For managing to win a rosette for having the smallest dog in the category of 'Littlest Dog at the show' (we were pretty confident he was going to win that one) I was on the front cover of the local newspaper, obviously no news that week & the dude doing the story (how he must've hated being sent to cover a crappy dog show) got my name wrong. Bazul was actually spelt correctly, my mum's decision as Basil was just too cliché or something, he was a little dog & I loved him to bits but my mum owned/fostered big, sometimes temperamental, dogs so he had to be re-homed :-(

Mistakes are made...

...when typing with one hand rather than concentrating on the actual job at hand....



...also skirt of celeb's mate blown about by wind is a top news story...